Reckless (and I don't mean my driving)

Parenting is such a mysterious thing. I feel like our days are totally unpredictable. Not for lack of schedule-- in fact, we often have too much schedule to go around at my house. Unpredictable because I can't accurately forecast the mood of the house from one moment to the next. One minute, the kids are playing and having a great time, and the next there is a major breakdown because K changed the tv channel or threw a sword down the stairs or bit her brother's back. (Yes, Kate is often the instigator of such destruction.)

Last Wednesday, I felt like we'd had a pretty good day, yet I also felt like I'd gone through the wringer at least twice by the time I plopped into bed. Like a good Christian role model, I save my quiet time for the very end of the day, when I'm good and attentive (read: nearly asleep, but trying hard.) I pray that God will make something stand out of the chapter I'm reading, but I admit I don't always anticipate lightening. It struck, however, when I read these words:

"Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." Proverbs 12:18

So often, I instigate drama, or at least fan the flames, by using words that are not necessarily hurtful, but aren't very well thought out. In the heat of battle, I often say something that, while logical, isn't very helpful or healing. Later, I regret these words. Not because they were violent or profane, but because they were exactly as that verse put it: reckless. Not wisely chosen. Not helpful. Just convenient.

Last night, for example, I left Kate playing in the bathtub long enough to get Sam started on a project. I could hear her playing, and was making progress with Sam's kindergarten info sheet (did you know they gave out homework before a kid has even attended class???!!!). But when I went to help her wash, there was water all over the floor, soap everywhere. Lots of soap. "Kate," I snapped, "What were you thinking?! The water has to stay in the bathtub! This is a TOTAL mess! I'm so disappointed in you!"

Now, that isn't a tryable offense, but it wasn't at all what I wanted to say, if I would script the moment in advance. I calmed down a minute later and apologized and told Kate that messes are easily cleaned up and that we need to try to keep the water in the tub next time. Those words were the right ones. The first set: reckless. I spent lots of time and energy trying to fix the careless words I spoke initially, and dealt with the guilt of those words for the rest of the night.

Kate's resiliant, and was fine after a few minutes of some rather soggy snuggling. But my prayer is that next time, I'll forego the reckless words for the healing ones.