Piano: Why was that a good idea again?

Sam has started taking piano lessons. He's really pretty good. He always wants me to help him, which surprises me. I hated it when my mom tried to help me with my piano lessons. Sam's his own man, though, and he prefers me to sit with him while he practices.

This has brought about its own set of challenges. First, our schedule is crazy and so there is no consistent time to practice. Second, I really didn't think his 20 minutes at the piano would be MY 20 minutes at the piano. Finally, though Sam wants my help, he really hates it too.

So last night, we waited until too late to practice. It was right before bed, which I now know is not a good idea. He has this need to do everything perfectly. When he misses one note, it sends him completely over the edge. He gets all pouty, and at one point, he started to cry.

I was being the model parent, encouraging him to keep trying, telling him that it takes work, etc. But it resulted in trauma and melt down, and finally bedtime. Let's just say it wasn't my finest parenting moment. I was so frustrated that my model parenting was met with such poor results, which caused me to melt down and contribute to the drama.

So, as is often the case, I went to bed frustrated and discouraged with my role as parent. I prayed and read the Bible (I'm in Proverbs, which is great for learning about gaining and imparting wisdom), but was still feeling down. Just before I went to sleep, I remembered what I told Sam during his practice. He was complaining about how piano is so hard, and he just couldn't get it right. I said:

"You know, Sam, the best things in life are often hard to do. The fun things. That's why we practice, so that we can get better and do fun things, like read or play basketball or piano."

Later I said, "You don't need to be perfect. We practice so that we can keep getting better. Everyone makes mistakes!"

I dish out pretty good advice sometimes. If only I'd take it myself. Parenting is no different, really. It's great. It's one of the most important roles I'll ever play in life. But instead of reminding myself that I just need to keep getting better every day, I demand perfection. Of course, perfection being impossible, I'm constantly discouraged.

So, I'm trying a new tactic: giving myself permission to make mistakes. But when I make them, I need to learn from them and keep going, rather than banish myself to time-out until the end of time.